American Idol ~ Season 7, It's a Wrap

So that stuff in yesterday's post about making peace with the decision and how it was really better that David A. won: Never mind! Lo and behold, the most deserving David triumphed after all. O ye of little faith in the American Idol voting public.

David Cook is probably mature and secure enough as a person and musician to do his best to avoid AI genericism (real word?). Kelly Clarkson has held her own, and David C's likely starting out in a more assured place than she was. (Don't do a movie, David, only advice.) He may not hold onto his hair for too many more years, but if he holds on to his integrity and his tender side, he could blossom into a very fine artist. Watching him on stage last night with Archie (side by side, it was clear who was the stronger presence) and with ZZ Top (!), he totally looked like he belonged there.

As for David Archuleta, it will be fascinating to see what becomes of him. He certainly has no shortage of talent and ambition. He has a musical future, perhaps literally. (Clay without the scary looks factor?) He could be dropped into a 50s teen musical as the good kid, and time would stand still. The obvious thing would be to market him in as many ways as possible asap to his very devoted, very young fan base, reaping short-term rewards and massive overexposure, but then what? (Rehab? Start all over again?) The other obvious thing would be Christian music, god forbid. If the Christian music makers are smart, and I've no doubt they are, they're already knocking on his door. With his innocent looks and that innocent voice: all too perfect. Resist, David, resist! My choice would be for him to lose a little of the gee-whiz puppy-dog cuteness (aging and world experience usually take care of that), eventually--after AI contracts and Dad are out of the way--find some pop geniuses to work with à la Justin Timberlake, and work towards a George Michaelish smooth sophistication, preferably without GM's run-ins with drugs and restroom cops. If he's honest about who he is, once he knows who he is, and is clever about packaging it, little David could stay a big pop star.

Bonne chance to both Davids. And get well wishes to Luke Menard, one of the nice guys in the top 24, who's been diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma.

American Idol ~ David vs. David

I've made my peace with it. David Archuleta will be the next American Idol. It is for the best.

If you look at Season 7 as a whole, who was more creative, had the most memorable performances, took the most chances, was the most vocally versatile, improved his hairstyle enormously? David Cook. In seasonal terms, he is the winner. He is still my winner.

But last night David Archuleta won the battle, and on American Idol, winning the battle means winning the war. Or should I be putting this all in boxing terms given the stupendously strange Boxing Introduction? See, David A. won it right there. He--all "100 pounds soaking wet" of him (some young fans are gonna be memorizing that line for later use)--looked happy to be prancing around in his miniature silk boxing robe, whereas David C. looked like he thought it was as silly as it was. Therein lies the difference. Beneath David A's I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-wow-you-like-me-really? facade is 100% pure competitive muscle, don't be mistaken. When the "desire to win" was brought up, David C. said, for him, the competition was over. Yup.

Nokia. Nokia. Nokia. It seemed mandatory that everyone use this word (cause they were in the Nokia Theater) as much as possible last night, so I'll get it out of the way. Nokia. Nokia. Nokia.

Clive Davis was in the Nokia House, looking not a day over 90. As was Andrew Lloyd Weber, who may be considering tossing off musical theater composition in favor of full-time mentoring and eyebrow choreography.

The boys started off with songs selected by that young buck, Clive, who perhaps showed his leanings by choosing the absolute most perfect song for David A. to sing, Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me." Of course, George Michael is no stranger to this song, either, and didn't I compare David A. to GM during Neil Diamond week? (Clive, my homeboy, you listened to me!) It was a perfect song because it allowed David A. to use his ballad diva skills but with more energy and less sugar than some of his performances. For those who "don't get" David A., this song should have been an, "Ok, I get it now" moment. Watch it, GM, David A's on your ass, and not in the public toilet sense.

Clive gave David C. U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," also a good choice, maybe too good. Bono once told Rolling Stone that the song is "'an anthem of doubt more than faith.'" Maybe that's why Clive picked it? Doubt set the tone for David C's night. The powers-that-be probably had some doubts, too. That David, he's a risk-taker, uh-oh. We like that sort of thing early in the season, but in the finale, not so much.

For the "2nd Round," each David got to pick a song from among the Top 10 in the AI-sponsored Songwriting Competition. (Why must they have this competition? Does anyone ever like these "winning" songs?) David C. went with a rocker. David A. went with a ballad, a sappy ballad, a "fantastically self-centered" ballad, Simon proclaimed, making it a perfect choice for proms and David A., or a future combination of the two. David C. sang his choice with the respect it deserved (not too much), while David A. sold the schmaltz with all the genuine faux sincerity he could muster (or he could've actually liked the song, it's all too possible), which is a lot, enabling Randy to use the phrases "in the zone" and "sing the phone book" one last time.

Lastly, the boys each got to pick their favorite song to sing. Surprise, surprise, David A. chose to do a tried-and-true "Imagine" encore, knowing that strength is found in the familiar and that this song was his strongest of the season. A completely unimaginative choice that smartly reminded all of us with weak memory spans of David A's finest moment. David C. could have pulled the same logical trick, taking "Hello" or "Billie Jean" for a nostalgic go-round, but no. "Why do something I've already done?" he said. (Because you'd have a much better chance of winning? There's one good reason!) He sang Collective Soul's "The World I Know," a song he'd never performed before. He sang it tenderly, without vocal fanfare or pyrotechnics. It was subtle. It showed artistry. He was teary after the performance. I love the guy. It was the nail in his AI coffin. Paula gave a standing-O (the kind you give candidates who need to concede), which David C. deserved, but Simon was right when he said it was absolutely the wrong song for the finale.

But was it? I've made peace with David A. winning over David C. because I think, ultimately, it will be best this way for both of them. David A. will have a new stage parent, the American Idol corporation and all that suggests. (Given the rumors over the season, it seems David A. could use a new stage parent pronto, one that might transition him towards being a person of his own. I hope, as soon as David turns 18, Dad is sent far far away till the album's done.) David C., on the other hand, by losing, will, presumably, have freer rein over his music, which can only benefit him since his energy is more creative than competitive. Plus, isn't it cooler to lose American Idol than it is to win it? (I mean, look at Clay Aiken.?! Oops, never mind, bad example.) David A. needed to win this because winning it was his goal, his dream, his raison d'être since he popped from the womb. David C. needs to hold on to his integrity, and it will be easier for him to do that as a loser.

So, it all worked out perfectly, right? Everyone's happy? We'll see tonight.

My final favorite performances of Season 7, one from David A., one from David C. Just to be fair. Now if only the Democratic primary could conclude so peacefully.

American Idol ~ 3 X 3

Now that we're down to the final weeks of American Idol, each of the remaining Top 3 contestants got to perform 3 songs last night, giving them plenty of room to impress or screw up, as the case may be. One song was chosen by the judges (with each judge assigned an Idol), one was chosen by the producers (those names that flash by in the credits, presumably), and one was chosen by the contestants themselves. Simon was the winner. And whichever producer(s) chose the Dan Fogelberg song for David A. was the loser. None of the contestants did themselves particular favors with their own song choices, which makes one wonder.

Let's start with the judges. Paula--proving again that she's not as ditsy as she sometimes seems--picked a Billy Joel song, "And So It Goes," for David A. It wasn't a Joel song I was intimately familiar with so I was just listening to the vocals rather than making comparisons to the original. (Joel's voice isn't much like Archuleta's anyway.) As Simon said, "predictable." But it flowed effortlessly from li . . . . from David, in a good way I thought, and he took his confident time with the lyrics. I think Randy mentioned for perhaps the millionth time that David could "sing the phone book" and it wouldn't matter and that he was "in the zone." Dawg, someone needs to give Randy some new phrases, ones that actually mean something.

Randy picked Syesha's song, which seemed cruel since he bashed her best performance last week and thus isn't a real reliable Sy advocate. He selected "If I Ain't Got You," by Alicia Keys, which delighted Syesha cause she's a fan, but once again it set Syesha up for comparison with an extraordinarily talented (and beautiful to boot) black diva. That's happened too many times this season, and who always loses? Syesha. She held her own, give her credit, on both the vocal and pretty fronts, but Randy, if he weren't Randy, could've done better.

Simon, proving again that he is the smartest as well as the bitchiest judge, picked "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face." Inspired! (Best choice of the evening, hands down.) It gave David C. the chance to be tender, which is his strong suit (Randy, of course, doesn't get this), and to amp it up a bit at the end to maintain the rocker vibe. (I would have been happy if he'd stayed in ballad zone, but that would have confused the typecasting.) As Simon claimed, it's one of the great songs of all time, and I have a particular fondness for it because it was written by Ewan MacColl, father of the late, great Kirsty MacColl, something I only learned long after becoming a major Kirsty fan. It may have just been my allergies, but I think I got a little teary. Certainly my favorite performance of the night.

Apparently the producers can't pick a song to save their lives, go figure. They gave David A. the aforementioned Dan Fogelberg tune (a treacly song made even more sentimental because of Fogelberg's recent death), which was almost like David A. actually singing the phone book. Not really David's fault, but it was as snoozy as a Bing Crosby holiday special. For David C., an Aerosmith song wasn't quite as boring a match, but nearly. Diane Warren was in the house and behind the song, so it was expectedly generic. (Not that I don't sometimes appreciate Diane's work on a long car drive.) Paula was on her feet, but David himself didn't seem that into it. (Giving this song to David A.--now that might have been inspired, or inspirationally disastrous.) Syesha was stuck with "Hit Me Up" aka The Penguin Song. Some drugs must've been floating around the producers' room during that choice. (Or they wanted to ensure Syesha doesn't crack the Top 2.) And the producers strike out.

I'd hoped the contestants themselves would do better than both the judges and the producers. This was a golden opportunity, but they kinda blew it, too. David A. made a valiant but ill-fated attempt to be "more youthful" (never mind the irony of a 17-year-old who looks 12 trying to be more youthful) by doing Chris Brown's "With You." Supposedly David A's Dad has been banned from the backstage area, but I have to believe only a Dad could make such a humiliating, uncool choice. (My theory: Dad wants David A. to only sing songs with "girl" in the lyrics, for more reasons than one.) I mean, really, did David A. honestly want to sing, "I need you boo"? Deep down, did he? David Awkwardleta! Or as Simon put it, "a chihuahua trying to be a tiger." Ouch. (But the girls do love their pet chihuahuas, many of whom might henceforth be named David or Archie.) Moving-gracefully-to-music is right up there with opening-one's-eyes in the list of things David A., precocious as he is, has not yet learned to accomplish on stage. I keep hoping he'll do something surprising and really great, but . . . there's still time. A for Awkward Effort.

David C's choice of Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move" was more predictable, and it's disappointing when David C. is predictable. Simon should have passed him a secret note to do something really geeky and make it cool, cause that's the kind of thing David C. excels at. Paula was right. The song sounded incomplete, and to me it was like so much blah blah blah from today's radio, middle-of-the-road rocker by a band whose name I'll never try to remember. (Maybe that just makes me old? Maybe middle-aged people didn't care about U2 back in their early years, but we'll see if Switchfoot is still around in 2020.) If David C. wants to put the chihuahua back in its place, his next choices had better be better.

Syesha picked Miss Peggy Lee's "Fever" as an excuse for demonstrating her skill at using a chair as a on-stage prop while wearing a short dress and while not pulling a Sharon Stone, something that may come in handy in family-friendly Broadway productions. (Girl's got an eye on her future!) If I'm not mistaken, Syesha disobeyed my permanent ban on the word "fun" escaping an Idol's lips. I think she disobeyed me twice. But I'll give her a break because the judges didn't. Paula was "surprised," which is Paula's way of saying, "WTF, girl?" Simon called it "lame cabaret" and warned that she'd regret it when--big surprise--she's eliminated tonight. I forgot what Randy said, because I've stopped listening to him. I didn't think it was a worse choice than the ones the boys made, but Syesha probably needed to make the *BEST CHOICE EVER* for it to make a difference, and even then. I do have a hard time listening to the song without comparing it to, A) Miss Peggy Lee's untoppably understated and sexy version, and B) the equally untoppable version by the brilliant Dragapella group The Kinsey Sicks in which they demonstrate what a difference one (or two, I suppose) simple letter can make in a song title. (See Sharon Stone reference above.)

Unless there's a true surprise tonight and Syesha fans caught the dialing fever, it will soon be David vs. David. This David is still my choice:

P.S. More proof that being a moron is REEEEEAALY a prerequisite for any FOX "newscaster."

Randy Go Home!

Simon told Jason he should pack his suitcase, but Jason wouldn't be the first person I'd send home from American Idol this week. Nope, I'd tell Randy to pack his tacky rhinestoned bags. What an a-hole!

Syesha blew the roof off the place with "A Change Is Gonna Come" but for Randy it fell "flat." What?! Last week there was all the brouhaha about Paula critiquing a song that had yet to be sung (you better believe they didn't try that format again this week), but this week it seemed like Randy was reading from his own dyspeptic script, one that aims to get rid of Syesha. There was something ugly and vengeful, not to mention off-base, in his criticisms. That's when Paula stood up and started clapping for Syesha and the girlie waterworks began. I loved Paula in that moment, I truly did. Meanwhile, Randy awkwardly sipped from his big red cup (what's in there anyway, Diet Mean Cola?) and put on his practiced defensive look. Simon agreed with Paula, so I didn't have to yell, "Misogynist Pigs!" at the screen. Syesha continued crying. Actually, though I liked her performances this week (the put-it-all-on-the-line Syesha was back in the house!), she annoyed me a bit in the pre-song interview when she talked about how "A Change is Gonna Come" was a crucial civil rights anthem, then said how it also applied to her (the next most important cause after civil rights) right now cause she's like changed so much, too. Yuck. She also talked about having "fun" with "Proud Mary." (David A. also had "fun" with "Love Me Tender," a song that just has fun written all over it, doesn't it? NO, IT DOESN'T!) The word "fun" should hereby be banned from the lips of all American Idol performers. But I digress. Syesha redeemed herself in my eyes when, after the Niagara tears did a number on her mascara and Ryan (who said chivalry is dead?) called for a tissue, Syesha said, in a voice about three octaves lower than usual, "I probably look like crap right now." That's my girl. You've come a long way, baby. (Just keep a check on the me me me chit-chat.)

Leave Jason alone! In his room. Where he wants to be right now. Or probably anywhere that isn't the American Idol stage. (Does anyone sport dreads in Siberia?) I advised viewers to vote him off last week, for his own sake, but did they listen? No! And now his soul is ruined. It's done. "Yet another `American Idol' hopeful flubs lyrics to a song" goes the Yahoo! headline today. Nothing the entertainment media loves better than flubbed lyrics. Something trivial to focus on, like Howard Dean's scream. So, he forgot a few Dylan lyrics, big deal. Dylan himself has probably flubbed a few lyrics in his time and incomprehensibly mumbled the rest, and it's not like everyone's on his case. Personally, I think it was a deliberate move on Jason's part, in case massacring Bob Marley (I didn't think it was as "utterly atrocious" as Simon said, but anyway . . . ) wasn't enough to finally get himself released from the prison the show has clearly become for him. Please, viewers, I beg of you, show mercy and send Jason to a better place!

Which leaves us with the two Davids. Cook and Archuleta. Which David reins supreme? Last week I declared Cook the season's winner, and I stand by my David (because I'm the loyal sort), even if David A's "Stand By Me" was inevitably better than David C's "Hungry Like the Wolf." Cook, dude, what were you thinking? You had the entire Rock & Roll Hall of Fame catalog to chose from (or at least the corner AI had access to), and you chose Duran Duran? They weren't even a good band in the 80s, never mind in 2008. It was all hairdo and accessories, and we know that you're on shaky ground in the hairdo department, Mr. Cook. You may have left Paula with a big appetite but you left me with a big WTF? David C., humble David C. (if his arrogance doesn't do him in in this competition, his humility will), realized his mistake and came back with The Who's "Baba O'Riley," aka "Teenage Wasteland." There's something deliciously eccentric about singing "Teenage Wasteland" to a TV wasteland full of teenagers. Paula loved it. I loved it. (Now that Michael Johns is gone, we gotta have the hots for someone over 18.) But will the teens, wasted and un-, love it? Maybe not so much.

Especially since David A., bless his crafty little heart (oops, I'd vowed not to use the word "little" in relation to the smaller David), is getting better and better with his song choices. (Has Daddy stepped aside? Is Kristy Lee Cook phoning in suggestions from her horse stable in Oregon?) He began with the aforementioned "Stand By Me," which he'd only performed a few thousand times in his bedroom before, never publicly. The almost subliminal cleverness came towards the end when he asked all the "beautiful girls" to Stand By Him. (I'm not sure how David A. actually feels about girls, but he sure knows where his white bread is buttered!) As if that weren't enough, he followed it up with that "fun" chestnut, "Love Me Tender." Like those beautiful girls aren't going to love him tender all through the designated window of voting opportunity. (If only Hillary could seduce the voters like our little, oops again, David! I half expect her to pop up in an Archuleta mask to face the next round of primaries.)

Unlike David C., whatever eccentricities David A. has inside of him, he's keeping hidden away in his Al-Gore-approved lock-box till after the competition. He wants to win this baby, and the odds are certainly back in his favor. He picked right, sang really well (I personally adored the little, oops again, broken note at the end of "Love Me Tender"), and didn't pass out, as poor Papa Ryan feared. (Would it be inappropriate to suggest that they would make the cutest little--sorry!--Daddy/Boy couple ever? Matching leather pants, OMG!) My favorite David A. moment of the night was when he euphorically protested, in response to a redundant bit of Jason flogging, "I liked Jason's song!" I believed him. David C. is in trouble.

My Favorite Idol Performance #21, just to spite that big blob of evilness that is Randy Jackson:

Favorite Idol Performances #19 & #20

Neil Diamond night. Not one of the better ones on American Idol, though he's underrated as a songwriter. (He's also written and recorded some wretched songs, it should be noted.) He wasn't quite as scary looking as Andrew Lloyd Weber, but there was a certain eerie resemblance through the eyebrows, even if Neil lacked the surprising wit and pointed advice that Sir Weber brought to last week's proceedings.

David Cook. Let's just declare him the Idol and call it a season. Yet those seemingly certain things often don't work out on AI, so I'm readying myself for the bombshell when he's voted off. He shouldn't be. His second song, "All I Really Need is You," was on a completely different level than all of the other performances. Enough said.

Jason is lost. At the end of his second song Simon put it on the table, telling Jason that he would look back at the night and think, "I don't know who this person is." A melancholic verging on tragic moment. I'm not sure it registered with Jason, who appeared as oblivious as ever, but his body language was saying, "Man, I need to kick back, and it ain't gonna happen on this stage. Get me out of here now." I hope he gets voted off tonight, because he really seems ready to head to the woods with his guitar and a pocketful of mellowness. Another week on AI could ruin his soul.

Syesha is certainly the most versatile female vocalist left, which isn't saying much since Brooke is the only remaining comparison. Both of her songs were good last night, confident and competent, but they lacked the determined edge Syesha brought to earlier performances, almost as if--now that her Broadway-ready talents have been touted--she's rehearsing for future shows instead of aiming to beat out the Davids, which she knows is never going to happen. She also wasn't smart to act surprised when Simon told her she might be in trouble. Girl, hello? Haven't you been in the chairs of humiliation enough to know you're always in trouble? It came off as petulant, and petulant isn't a good note to end on right before the voting begins.

After being hard on David A. in recent weeks, I warmed to him a little last night. When he asked Neil for advice and suggestions. When his voice broke a little bit in the second song, and you could see him mentally chiding himself yet carrying on. When Neil called him a prodigy who needs a little guidance. I am a sucker for vulnerability, and he showed it in endearing ways. He also had a little fire under him last night, a touch of spunk, as if he realizes that David C. isn't going to vanish and he best expand his repertoire beyond squinting at tween girls through yet another ballad. Shades of George Michael when he was on the cusp of breaking free of Wham! blandness. (Okay, maybe I'm being generous, but even vocally there are shades of GM's admirable fluidity in little David.) And he pulled off a clever Kristy Lee move by choosing a song with patriotism built right into it. I liked that performance more than I wanted to. How cannot it not come down to David vs. David? (Note to self: stop using the word "little" in relation to David A.)

Then there's Brooke, sunny, vocally limited Brooke. She repeated the stupendous mistake of trying to rock. Why, Brooke, why? You can sing "I'm a Believer" but, honey, we don't believe! She looked as comfortable as a nun dancing in a miniskirt, and whenever Brooke aims for funkiness her last name suddenly seems wincingly descriptive. Nightmare was right. Then she came back for her second song, palm lyrics written on her palm to ward off the forgotten lyric curse from last week. "I Am I Said." Perfect perfect perfect song choice for her. It showcased the positive side of that break in her voice, and the confidently quiet ending fit just right. Just when you thought you could count her out . . .

Favorite Idol Performances #17 & #18

I'm not going out on a limb to say that this year's American Idol winners will not be: Brooke, Jason, or Syesha. Which leaves David A., David C., and Carly. Although I fulfill several gay stereotypes, I'm definitely not a Broadway fag, so I didn't expect Andrew Lloyd Weber week to 1) be entertaining, and 2) basically settle who the winner should be. It was entertaining. And the winner is . . . let's talk about the performances first.

Again, since I'm on foreign soil, I was watching the performances out of order on YouTube, so I wasn't aware until afterwards that Syesha was stuck with the dreaded first-up slot. A pity. Because she should have closed the show. Since she always described herself as an actress (who sings, obviously) I guess it shouldn't have been surprising that she could pull off an actressy song with style and (as Simon finally noticed) sexiness. It was her "happy place," as Paula said, and I only hope it remains her happy place after elimination, because she does sooooooo not deserve to go home this week. When she is eliminated, Broadway producers should be pounding on her door.

ALW + David A. = Easy Success. This was David A. territory, and, as Paula said, it was perfect. Except I wish it wasn't perfect. If ever a performance was filled with competence and empty of surprise, it was this one. ALW acted shocked that a boy would perform a song clearly meant for a (girl) diva. Hello? David is a girl diva (and I don't mean that disparagingly) inside the body of a small, cute teen-aged boy. The two pieces of advice ALW gave David (Open your eyes! Open your eyes!) were both precise and witty. I could see David trying, trying to keep his lids fully ajar, but no dice. The sincere squint, directed directly at the camera and all the tween girls warming up their push-button fingers, could not be closed down, or opened up, rather. I honestly think his characteristic squint is a hypnosis technique his stage father has forced upon him, but I can't offer proof. David will be in the top three, no doubt (unless those tween girls get lazy), but if you compare his performance with David C's, it's like white bread and bread pudding with whiskey sauce to me, and I'll take the latter. The most unguarded David A. moment of the evening was when the schoolgirls stormed the stage for hugs, and David's mortification shone through the showbiz smile. Underneath that Hillaryesque (just cause that's also on my mind) professionalism lurks an endearingly awkward teen still searching for his real self, even if he thinks he's found it on American Idol.

OK, Jason and Brooke. They were both out of their element, and it showed. Brooke, despite the start-over "drama", that quickly become the Yahoo! headline, seemed less clueless than Jason. (ALW saw she was clueless and took her in hand, literally.) Her performance was riveting, in part because there was the fear she'd lose it entirely, but also because her vulnerability showed again, and not in a bad way. Still, there's a good chance she'll be going home (the flub may have actually helped her get some pity votes), deservedly so, and it will be especially cruel to hear her sing, "You must love me," after she's been voted off. (Do the contestants ever think of this irony when they pick their songs?) I still like it when Jason brings his sweet little falsetto to the biggest of songs (unlike David A., under those dreads he really isn't a diva), but enough is enough.

David C. gets bonus points for singing his "sexy song" with conviction after ALW told David to sing it to him like he was the teen-aged maiden of his desires. Yikes! If David C. has nightmares for the next several decades, this is why. ALW is super-freaky looking as a middle-aged man for crying out loud. Some things are beyond the human imagination. But David C. pulled it off, playing it straight while still having a creative edge that another David doesn't have in him, yet. He's the winner. I don't see anyone else matching him in terms of artistic maturity, but then again AI isn't necessarily decided on either artistry or maturity. I'm not picking David's as a favorite performance because I've picked him enough already. And I'm picking him as my winner, no turning back (unless he really blows next week).

"Carly" and "fun"--two words that never seemed to belong in the same sentence before, especially when Carly has insisted she was having "fun" during a performance, when clearly she wasn't. Here, ALW should get credit as being the best mentor of the season, or maybe all-time. He actually gave contestants concrete advice, and the advice he gave Carly may save her. Ditch the ballad, go with Jesus and paaaaarty! I've always suspected Carly was a good-time gal (she is Irish, after all), and though "Jesus Christ Superstar" is a completely bizarre song choice when you think of it, and the lyrics are completely irrelevant out of context, it worked for her. She let loose, she relaxed, she belted, and she didn't look like death warmed over. (She looked terrific, actually.) If Carly survives another week--and she should--she needs to go with that rollicking attitude and apply it vocally. I'll be very surprised if she wins AI, but she needs to go out with confidence instead of desperation. (And she needs to learn to pick the right song without coaching.)


Addendum: The results are in. Never underestimate the power of the pity vote. I'd accuse Brooke of staging her stumble in a bit of Kristy Lee cleverness to stay on past her time, but I don't think scheming is in Brooke's nature. A shame that Carly is going home just as she was finally showing some joy, but there you have it. It's the battle of the boys now.

Favorite Idol Performance #16 ~ David Cook

Since I'm far away from America, my plan was to catch up on American Idol via YouTube. Simple enough, as long as my connection cooperated. By the time I was able to log-in this week, someone in the Lucky 7 had already become unlucky, but I didn't want to know who it was before seeing the Mariah-inspired performances for myself. Of course the first page that came up was Yahoo! with a big headline about one less Cook in the kitchen. Had Kristy Lee finally been sent home? (Surely it wasn't David, although after last week's elimination of Michael, anything seemed possible.) Sure enough, it was Kristy Lee. So much for surprises.

Watching the performances and commentaries out of order on YouTube (and knowing the ultimate results in advance) can't quite match the excitement of watching the show live, but I got the gist, along with additional spoilers like knowing (according to Simon) that the boys outdid the girls. (No big shock there this season.) Now, the idea of contestants tackling Mariah songs seemed a recipe for vocal pyrotechnics gone flamingly awry. (Would any contestant tackle Mariah's signature dog-ear-hurting squeal? God forbid.) They deserved credit for not even trying. In fact, I was favorably impressed in one way or another with everyone. Perhaps I'm homesick, so anything containing English words and reasonably on-key sounds good to me? Mariah night was unexpectedly train-wreck-free.

I should confess that, since I'm not a big Mariah fan, I (unlike David A.; ding-ding goes the gaydar) do not know her songbook back to front, with the exception of "Without You." The definitive Nilsson version of the song (not to be confused with the recently distinctive Ken Li version) is hauntingly gorgeous, one of those songs I remember hearing in a very specific place at a very specific time in my life (in the car on the way to the Ice Capades in Boston on a snowstormy day when I was a wee lad), and one I never tire of. (It's up there with the best car radio sing-a-long songs of all time, though careful on the melodramatic conclusion or you may have an accident.) So I knew that song very very well, but the Mariah-penned ones, not so much. Mariah's voice has always impressed me as an instrument (I just can't stand to watch her draw the notes with her fingers every time she sings live), and I find her more recent hip-hop layered stuff sonically impressive, but she's one of those singers, like Céline, who's full of technique (technique a bit rough around the edges, given her live performance) and empty when it comes to connecting with the lyrics. No Kleenexes required when listening to Mariah, unless the high notes rupture your tear ducts.

Anyway, the task was to remake Mariah songs at human scale. Brooke did this perhaps too well. She brought it so far down it nearly sank, particularly when she got distracted (as Brooke tends to do) at the end. I love limitations in a voice (Emmylou Harris, a personal favorite of mine, has all kinds of vocal limitations, but she's learned how to bend them for emotional effect), and Brooke is well aware of hers, but I don't think she's learned to use them to her advantage, and American Idol--where vocal grandstanding is celebrated--isn't the best venue for experimentation. (Brooke's also getting annoying at judgment time. Quiet and no pouting, Sunshine, new rule!) Jason Castro is in a similar boat, but that sweetly liquid falsetto of his, and the casual confidence with which he uses it, can slide him through, as it did on Tuesday.

Speaking off fals's, Mariah encouraged starstruck David A. to try his out, and, to his credit, he did, shakily. In his case, having only recently been through the horror of pubescent male voice-changing, it's no wonder he was reluctant. The judges overpraised him this week, which seemed unnecessary since he's as safe as safe can be. At his best, he does find those tones that make you melt, but I feel like I know him less with each passing week, even though vocally he does pretty much the same thing from week to week. What kind of artist will he be? Is he old enough or sure enough of himself to have a clue? The curious leather pants were symbolic of his overall opacity. Did he choose them? Did someone else choose them? Why or why? (Actually, they looked so wrong on him, they were almost right.) I'm hoping for David A. to do something completely unexpected, and to do it convincingly enough to win over cynics like me. (Having selected his as a favorite performance last week, I had to rewatch the clip to remember what it was: not a good sign.)

Who's left? Syesha. Bless her heart, she puts it out there every time, takes ambitious vocal risks, and, for the judges, it's never quite good enough. I think she's as underrated as David A. is overrated, but I must admit I'm not sure what kind of artist she'd be either. Texturally, her voice is the richest of the lot, and, with some good guidance, she could do great things with it. (That said, I expect she'll be going home within the next 2 weeks.) Like Simon, I was glad Carly took on "Without You," and, like Simon, I was disappointed. I'm still wanting to like Carly more than I do. She seemed the most upset when Michael was wrongly sent home last week, and that renewed my desire to root for her. Her voice is big and interesting, but there's something grating about it. I think it's because her big notes always seem constricted, closing down when the should be opening up. Her upper range doesn't blossom like, say, Linda Ronstadt's, so she can't quite pull off being a belter, and, if she's not that, what is she? Beyond desperate to please Simon, an increasingly elusive goal. I was surprised she wasn't in the Bottom 3, but maybe not landing there will give her the confidence to tap some potential she hasn't yet shown.

And, speaking of potential, spunky Kristy Lee. It was her time to go. She knew it. Everyone knew it. A bad performance would have sealed the deal, but I thought she gave a good performance. The girl has found her niche, she made that song her own, and she is certainly the most improved contestant of the season. She let Brooke do the undignified blubbering for her, put her chin up, and took her perfect parting song to Simon's lap with delightfully uncomfortable results. Pair clever Kristy up with a good country production team, and she may have the last laugh. Watch out, Pickler! Watch out, Underwood! Kristy Lee will soon be nippin' at your high heels.

Which leaves David Cook, rebounding from last week's misstep. He's got the sensibility, his hair has improved as much as Kristy Lee's vocals, and, touchingly, with his ill brother in the audience (from what I've read), he got teary-eyed after the judges buttered him with praise. He deserved it. His interpretation improved the song (can't ask for more on AI) and his emotional leaking was both genuine and moving. With Michael gone, David's the one who's most holding my interest. But he'll be up against the zillions of young girls who won't be budging from the other David's camp no matter what he does. (Did they dig the leather pants, though?)

Idiots of the Week #9 ~ American Idol Voters!

Okay, I usually don't post my Idiot of the Week until the weekend, and there are probably more serious idiots than the TV viewing public, but, but . . . . Michael Johns, eliminated from American Idol?! Say it isn't so. I leave the country and look what happens! Worse yet, I had to read the news on the Internet in a jet-lagged state before I'd had my morning coffee. So maybe "Dream On" wasn't his best performance ever, but he was way better than, like, any of the girls. (And I'm not being misogynistic--I was all about the girls last season.) All I can say is: I feel your shock and pain, Paula! Clearly, Simon, Randy, and the millions of teenaged girls who clog the phone lines on Tuesday nights just didn't get Michael's genuine appeal. Same goes for the Yahoo! AP commentator Erin Carlson, who said he lacks star-quality. (Um, Erin, check out his departing performance. If you don't see star-quality there, honey, you are blind!) Their loss. And, bitterly, I am now glad to be out of the country, free from this charade and debacle. (Not that I won't be sneaking peeks next week at this time.) Kristy Lee all the way, woohoo!!!!

G'day and G'luck, mate. Come sing in my bedroom anytime. The invitation is open.

Favorite Idol Performaces #14 & #15

It's the song choice, stupid. That should have been the slogan for last night's American Idol.

Making bad choices: David C., Carly, and Syesha. David C. and Carly managed to make inspiration look grim. Not that I object to grim songs, but their selections seemed equally self-indulgent and self-destructive, and David's white jacket didn't help him, even if the hairdo held its own. Carly, I don't know, the girl has a knack for choosing exactly the wrong song. Expect her to be very pale on elimination night. As for Syesha, her voice was in good shape, but covering a song another Idol has blown through the roof is always ill-advised, especially after taking on Whitney last week. Still, of the three, Syesha harmed herself the least, not that that will necessarily keep her out of the Bottom 3.

Making decent to excellent choices last night: Michael, Brooke, David A., Jason, and Kristy Lee. So Randy (whose panties seem to be in a perpetual twist this season) and Simon weren't so hot on Michael seeking inspiration from Aerosmith. I thought it was a good choice (one that, for me, brought back the pure joyful melodramatics of high school car radio sing-a-longs), sidestepping the sappiness implied by "inspirational" songs while still fitting the theme. Michael's at his best when he puts some blues into his vocals, but he rocked well enough. And Paula sees what Randy and Simon either don't or prefer not to see: Michael, when he performs, is a big Aussie stud. Paula, bless her horny heart, it's not just your chihuahuas who want to jump Michael's legs. Right song for Brooke, but the "pleasant" (i.e. lacklaster) response was apt. Jason returned to his "Hallelujah" high with his choice of Israel Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole's (spellcheck, please!) verson of "Over the Rainbow." Perfect for him and, like Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah," just unknown enough to get people rushing to the definitive cover. It might have been my favorite performance, but, was it me, or did he jumble the words around in stoner fashion? I was afraid that David A. might (with Daddy's help, perhaps) pick something God-friendly and god-awful, but "Angels" was spot-on. I had to entirely agree with Simon's assessment of the song and of David's performance. David remains something of a blank slate, but a blank slate who's gonna be going through to the end.



Last but not least: Kristy Lee, Queen of the Bottom 3. Based on last night's performance, she may not be there this week, shockingly enough. It was another very smart song choice for her, and she sang it with admirably natural--if slightly pitchy--conviction. I never expected to include a performance by KL among my favorites, but she deserves it for persistence alone. Definitely her moment. At this point, it's difficult to imagine any of the women cracking the final Top 3, unless one of them pulls out the right stops, but--after last night--I half-believe Kristy Lee is unstoppable. (At least till next week.)



Alas, this Idol fan is headed to foreign lands, where the show is likely to be off my TV and radar screens. Carry on, kids . . .

Favorite Idol Performances #12 & #13

I adore Dolly Parton. She's had a long career of looking dumb while being very very smart, and, unlike many of her contemporaries, she's done some of her best work in the past decade. So I was curious to see what the Idol kids would do with her songs last night. Aside from Kristy Lee and possibly Brooke, none of the other remaining Idol contestants struck me as country music naturals. Of course, as several demonstrated, Dolly's songs don't necessarily have to be sung Dolly-style, something Miss Whitney proved way back when. I must say the night was a pleasant surprise. Aside from Ramiele, who, cute as she is, seems incapable of connecting with any song, there were no Beatles-scale disasters and several excellent performances.

Brooke started things off, doing one of my favorite Dolly-penned songs, "Jolene." Great great song, and an excellent choice for Brooke, I thought. But, Brooke, this is a song about a woman pleading with another woman not to steal her man. It is intimate, girlfriend-to-girlfriend, desperate, sad. But ever-sunny Brooke lost her focus while playing smiley with the audience, and, consequently she lost the song. (Meanwhile, while Brooke was distracted, Jolene would've had that man right under her ivory thumb and between her ivory sheets.)

Jason did "Travelin' On," which was on the "Transamerica" soundtrack. Before he sang, Ryan showed everyone a stack of postcards all written to Jason from the same girl. "Your voice is as relaxing as the scene on the front of this card," Ryan quoted from the card, before showing a bucolic Colorado lake and mountain. Rocky Mountain High--that's Jason. The song suited him, and he did a trans-free, no alarms and no surprises take on it. Also no surprises from the previously mentioned Ramiele, who, like her voice last week, really needs to go "bye bye."

Carly chose "Here You Come Again," a song not actually written by Dolly and one of my least favorite of Dolly's recordings. It was during the era when Dolly was trying to cross over to pop stardom, which she did with some success obviously, but it was a low point in her artistic output. Good selection for Carly, however, as Dolly pointed out, since she gave it the pure pop sheen it deserved, Céline solidity replacing the twang. Simon--ever the fashion plate himself--trashed Carly's looks. She's not a style queen, for sure, but at least this week she didn't look like she was about to puke, and she's still got the best pipes among the girls.

David A. chose "Smoky Mountain Memories," which got Dolly teary-eyed, and she added that he "has the voice to really become a great great singer." I believe she meant it, and it snapped me back from the uneasy feeling that I'm either scared of or, more likely, scared for little David. The gorgeous purity of his voice during the ballads (which are his forte) paired with the doe-eyed gaze into the camera makes me imagine a roomful of salivating Christian music producers readying their kidnapping plan. (Imagine all the teen girls and gay boys converting before their Idol!) When he sings about "leaning on my Jesus" the conviction creeps me out a little. Just what this country needs: more Jesus (no offense to Jesus himself). David A. walks that fine line between hopeful sincerity and hopelessly contrived sentimentality, and if I hadn't paid attention to the rumors about stage-Daddy, and the fact that David's been on stage practically since he popped from Mama's womb, I might be less cynical. He's a true talent. He should be in the Top 3. I'm just more interested in what he'll become when he's a free adult than what he is right now. I suppose it would be out of line for me to suggest that Dolly take David to her ample bosom and adopt him for safekeeping?

Clever Kristy Lee made it through with flying colors (of the stars-and-stripes variety) last week to land in her country comfort zone. "Coat of Many Colors" wasn't a bad song selection for her, though story-songs lose something when they're chopped to Idol fragments. I've no doubt Kristy knows the songbooks of the Holy Trinity (or Trio, as the case may be)--Dolly, Linda, and Emmylou--but she lacks even a smidgen of the raw talent those girls had at her age. She might get voted off tonight, even if last night's was far from her worst performance. Maybe she should have chosen "Hello God" with full-hallelujah choir back-up to continue her over-the-top pandering? (I confess to loving "Hello God" in all its hokeyness. I've even made it the finale on several gift mix-tapes, probably to the chagrin of the recipients.) As it stands, KL should be sent on her pretty way to Shaniaville.

Syesha chose, huge surprise, "I Will Always Love You." (Somebody had to chose it.) Uh-oh. Didn't I tell you not to do Whitney, girl? (And you know whose version Syesha was putting herself up against: not Dolly's, not Linda's.) My boyfriend, the pitch queen, caught more than a few sharp shooters, but the thing I still love about Syesha is, even taking the obvious road, she puts herself out there on the cliff's edge of vulnerability and goes for it. She fearlessly pushes her voice beyond its comfort zone in both the big and small spaces, and she connects with a song, or tries damned hard to, however imperfect the results. Brooke and Carly and, lord knows, Ramiele could all take lessons about going for broke from Syesha.

Which leads us to the two best performances of the night, in my opinion, David C. and Michael (again), the mature brothers. I would buy full-length recordings of the Dolly songs they chose. (Which I can't say about Carly's and David A's performances.) David C. captured that haunted bluegrassy sound and married it to his rock strengths. It was perfect, despite Simon's misgivings. (Simon seems to have an irrational loathing of songs involving birds, as Carly probably recalls. Did he have a Hitchcockian bird trauma in his bratty youth? In general, his underwear were too tight or something last night; maybe he'd borrowed Randy's twisted panties from last week?) After reading today about what David was also dealing with--heart palpitations of his own and a brother's cancer along with the usual AI high-anxiety--I have all the more respect for him seamlessly pulling it off. And, David, the new hairdo was like a total 100% improvement, dude, take it from someone who's had his share of male pattern hairdo mishaps.

Michael, Michael, you bluesy ascotted studmuffin, you! I really had no idea what Michael would do with the Dolly canon, but in the rehearsal interview he came across as a genuine fan (I was smitten with his smittenness). He took one of Dolly's ho-hum songs and sang the shit out of it in a style not unlike that of the great country-blues singer, Delbert McClinton. Totally found your niche, baby, and watching it again makes me feel all funny inside.

My Bottom 3 would be Kristy Lee (of course), Ramiele, and Jason, with either of the girls going home, but I'm guessing it might go down differently, sigh. If you're sent packing, Syesha, you deserve better and you're still gorgeous.

Idol Aftermath

Not only did Kristy Lee not get voted off, she didn't even land in the Bottom 3. Which goes to show that cheese works, just make sure it's pseudo-patriotic cheese. Expect in-trouble contestants to start scouring the songbooks for titles that feature some combination of the words God Bless America. Maybe KL will try the national anthem next week while draped in the American flag? If she'd been eliminated my faith in the American people would have been restored. But she wasn't. If John McCain follows AI, he should take heart.

The other notable feature of last night's elimination show was David A's continuing insistence that he really really really picked that ghastly, I mean amazing, song. (See video below.) In fact, it's really really really one of his all-time favorite songs. (i.e. Dad had nothing nothing nothing to do with it! Simon smiled opaquely while altar boy Ryan attempted to clean up the controversy.) Who knows what the real truth is, but contrary to David's assertions, he did not look like he was having fun performing it. (Whenever a contestant says they were having fun, it means the opposite.) And if he really did choose it, then his taste barometer is highly suspect, and he'd better start getting some outside advice on song-choices, preferably not from close relatives. He's coasting on cuteness now, but, as Jason discovered when he landed in the Bottom 3 last night, cuteness has a way of turning on you.

Farewell, Chikezie. His elimination was not a surprise, but it was wrong. He was one of the class acts.

American Idol's on Acid!

The night started out normally enough, then just got wackier and wackier until I literally slapped myself to make sure I wasn't tripping. Craziest AI ever.

The show started with relative normality: Ramiele had been encouraged to kick it up a notch and show off that "big old voice" coming from that wee little package. So she did, taking on one of the biggest, Ann Wilson. And she did ok (even if the voice went "bye bye" during rehearsals), certainly better than other weeks. But cranky Randy was all over the pitchiness; he was the pitch-bitch the whole night. (My pitch-queen boyfriend had more problems with Syesha's pitch, but Randy let her off the hook, hmmm. Maybe he doesn't like tiny girls?) Then came Jason, who brought his usual laid-back stoner touch to Sting's "Fragile." (The stoner charm is wearing thin on everyone despite those special frosty eyes.) Even relatively tone-deaf me recognized some pitchiness with Syesha, but, like Mary J. Blige, who's not immune to the dreaded pitchiness problem, what she lacks in precision she can--when she's on--make up for in passion. Syesha was semi-on last night. Chikezie went old-school, skipping any hoedown and harmonica eccentricities after getting nailed for them last week. Then he got criticized for playing it safe and cheesy (according to Simon). Cheesy Chikezie; alas, he may be in trouble tonight. Brooke, thank god, ditched the sunshine outfit and dressed like she was going to a funeral. Funereal becomes her; somehow she still looks sunny even all in black and with flattened hair. Her beginning blunder was charming, and she held her own with "Every Breath You Take," though she didn't quite pull off the magic she's capable of.

Then the evening started to get good and weird. Michael amped up the energy and sex appeal (see below), and Carly took on Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." I have always adored this song beyond all reason and am convinced that anyone who says they don't like it is lying. One lonely 80s evening, I remember smoking a little something and watching the original door-bursting, wind-blowing, gown-flowing awesomely over-the-top video and being certain it was the best thing I'd ever witnessed in my whole life. (And when the smoke cleared, it still seemed pretty fabulous. You don't need to be high to appreciate spooky bright-eyed flying children.) But I digress: Carly. She tried, really hard, and she looked terrified. (What I would have given to hear Amanda do Bonnie Tyler!) Then pitch-bitch Randy rags on her and Simon rags on her and tells her to lighten up, and you can see the color draining from Carly's face. (Inside she's probably screaming: I was in the Bottom 3 last week, you arse! I am not going to lighten up! I want this more than life itself, and you're ruining it.) I honestly feared she might vomit on stage, and if she's in the Bottom 3 tonight (which she may well be), I think I'll have to cover my eyes.

Carly set the stage for the true weirdness ahead: David A. and Kristy Lee. David picked perhaps the worst song EVER in the history of the show. Watching him perform was one big WTF???? And somehow he looked even younger than ever, about 6. Truly excruciating. Then came the judging. "Strange song choice," said Randy, before adding that David could sing "whatever" and it would be fine. Ahhh, so with precious David, song choice is irrelevant. WTF???? Paula was equally mystified but said David could sing the phone book. You're judges, not babysitters; what's with the kid gloves? Only Simon hit the nail on the head: theme park, ghastly, etc. Then he made the most interesting comment of the night: "I don't think that is you at all, and I'd be amazed if you chose the song yourself." Ouch! David's Daddy must have felt that stab wound. Of course with the rumors of David's Dad being the stage-parent from hell flowing, Simon's dig was less than subtle. Watching the John Farnham original, it's hard to imagine a 17 year-old in his right mind picking this song. And seeing David performing it was like watching a cult member perform for his brainwasher. He looked like a scared puppy having an out-of-body experience. Simon's remark makes me wonder what's going down off-stage re: David and Daddy, but, unless David is a lot crazier (re: song choice) than he looks, Daddy needs to be booted asap or David will be. Intervention anyone?

Finally, the icing on the weirdness cake: Kristy Lee. After we got distracted by hunky, shirtless Daddy holding a baby Kristy Lee, the performance got underway. "God Bless the USA." No, no, no, she's not really going to sing this, is she? Yes, she is. Demented, and completely brilliant. After suffering week after week in the Bottom 3, Kristy took matters into her own hands and played the patriotism card! She gave it her pitchy, twangy all, and it was as cringingly horrible as one might expect. And--clever, clever Kristy Lee--the judges couldn't touch it: Great song choice, very nice. Very poignant and respectful song. Your best performance by a mile. (A little pitchy, but patriotism trumps pitch every time.) "The most clever song choice I have heard in years," Simon said, and on that score he was right. But instead of stopping there, Simon went on to say that Lee Greenwood was brilliant, the song was brilliant. That's when I was sure either they were on acid or I was. Simon, who called Chikezie cheesy earlier, finds a song that oozes cheesiness brilliant? (And he's not even American, for chrissake!) So, vote for Kristy Lee and love that song, because if you don't, you are not patriotic and the terrorists will win!

Because I can't resist, some of the original inspirations behind the acid-edition of AI (as if the Beatles could begin to compare):

Favorite Idol Performance #11 ~ Michael Johns

Okay, David Cook sort of stole Michael's thunder later on, when he did the Chris Cornell version of "Billy Jean" and got heaped with praise about his boldness. But it's not like he came up with the dramatic overhaul of the song, even if the rapturous response made it seem so (and even though Ryan clarified whom he was covering in the intro). Cook is smart and he's got the voice, but Michael deserves to have a night, and this was it.

When in doubt, do Queen, Michael. You can almost feel Freddie coaxing him on from the grave, perhaps noting Michael's shagability. Michael's vocals stumbled slightly in the middle, but otherwise he was hot, hot, hot. Try that, you little boys, Jason and David A. (David C. can't really pull off the hot thing till he loses the pre-Trump sweep-over do.) In fact, Michael seems too old to be faced with the indignity of competing with teen dreams. I always feel a bit sorry for him, like he's the 6 foot tall, razor-stubbled 5th grader who's been held back and really belongs in high school. Obviously, it was his choice to compete, but I'd like to see him charismatically sweating out the songs somewhere more appropriate, say, a strip club! I mean, a rock arena. You were the champion, Michael (did I mention, hot?), even if that song gives me nightmarish flashbacks to high school sporting events. Keep pulling off your clothes, I mean, out the stops. It's all about the vocals. It's all about the vocals.

Rock On, Amanda

Amanda got the ax. It was inevitable, but she should have lasted a couple of more weeks. The legitimate criticism of Amanda is that she was a one-trick pony. But as a performer, she was easily better than both Kristy Lee and Ramiele. So what did they have that Amanda didn't have? Kristy Lee and Ramiele are smiley, perky, and cute. Amanda was none of the above. She wasn't viewer-friendly. But she went out with a bang. No tears or pleas of, "I can't sing now!" from Amanda. She was my sentimental favorite because she seemed completely lacking in sentimentality. Rock on, Amanda. I hope you sell out that bar in Lafayette.

The biggest surprise of the night: Carly in the Bottom 3. I didn't see that one coming, and I'm guessing she didn't either. Technically, she's the best female singer of the competition. If she gets voted off before Kristy Lee or Ramiele, it won't be because of the singing (see smiley, perky, and cute above).

Favorite Idol Performance #10 ~ Syesha Mercado

It was a night for reversal of fortunes on American Idol. Those who shined last week tended not to repeat their success, and a couple of people who faltered last week redeemed themselves for the moment. Frankly, I hope it's the last Beatles night for a good, long while. The bad performances definitely outnumbered the good last night.

Amanda was first, and I still love Amanda. She seems to be the one person who's genuinely having a fine old time on stage. If she's the realist I'm guessing she is, she's not deluding herself into believing she's going to win, so she's using the opportunity to sing what she damn well pleases (within the narrow constraints of the show, of course). When Simon rightly criticized her for being the same week after week, she said she used her minute and a half to show people what to expect if they came to the Amanda show. She wanted them to think, "Hey, that chick looks like fun, I wanna go see that chick." When Simon pointed out that her tickets weren't on sale quite yet, she responded, "Even if I need to sell out a local bar in Lafayette, that's all I'm sayin'." I'd love to see Amanda pull off a surprise, but I'd rather she stick to her guns and be predictable than make some misguided effort to show a range she may not have. There are worse things than being a kick-ass bar singer.

David A. pulled himself back together and back into the boy-to-beat spot. David C. remained solid even if the performance lacked the brilliance of his Lionel Richie remake. (Sometimes worse songs bring out better performances.) Michael, aside from his perfect "Bohemian Rhapsody" moment during Hollywood week, always seems a little off to me, more so last night. (Picking songs that are sentimentally important to you is usually a big mistake.) He's still the #1 hunk, however, even if the teen-aged girls squeal over Jason, whose performance of "Michelle" was nailed by Paula when she said it crossed over into awkward polka territory. Only Jason is endearingly cute and goofy enough to almost pull off polka. Chikezie aimed to pull off another out-there interpretation after his success last week, but, like most self-conscious attempts to replicate uniqueness, it went horribly awry. If only he'd left the harmonica in a drawer and used his ace falsetto the whole song through.

Brooke proved that, though she looks the part, sunshine does not become her. Sunny people are meant to sing sad songs. And then when she kept repeating, "It's okay, it's okay," when the judges slammed her, she started to appear both sunny and unhinged. I don't know why Simon was so on Carly's case about song choice. I thought it was good. I thought she was good. But, unlike Amanda, Carly believes she can win this (she does have a better shot), and her desperation to please comes off as the annoying smart girl in the front row of class with her too-eager hand perpetually up and ready. The teacher's pet who pretends she never gets a chance to speak in class. Ramiele always seems like she should be better than she is. It's a good thing she's tiny and cute, because otherwise she'd be toast. Kristy Lee knows she's running on fumes, and this knowledge seems to have relaxed her. She may not be giving good performances, but, compared to Carly, for instance, she comes across as delightfully aware of her own shortcomings and genuinely grateful to be on stage at all.

Which leaves us with Syesha, the contestant who's most disappointed me the past few weeks. Apparently, she thrives under adversity. When she lost her voice during Hollywood week, she somehow rose above it and gave a dynamite performance. Likewise, last night--after landing in the shameful Bottom 3 last week, she took that negative and turned it into an exquisitely tender and vulnerable performance, wowing by pulling in rather than pulling out all the stops. She's perhaps the most inconsistent performer left, but when she's on, she's on.

When the night was over, the ones who thrived did so by not pandering to the judges and by paying attention to their performances instead of to the screaming sign-holders in the audience. Sadly, showing how grateful you are to be loved is a good way to make people stop loving you.

My pick for this week's Bottom 3: Kristy Lee, Chikezie, and Ramiele, who will end up safe.

Favorite Idol Performance #9 ~ Chikezie

I thought Chikezie was going home last week, as did Chikezie, but the surprise of being kept on for another week seemed to give him super-human energy. The most entertaining and inspired performance of the night. But Randy: "Who knew you had the falsetto?" Dude, Dawg, where have you been? He's always had the falsetto. Sometimes I think Randy is the real Paula among the judges.

As for the rest, split down the middle:
Performances that should help the contestants, or at least keep them in the running: Amanda, Brooke, Carly, David C., Jason, Michael.
Performances that should hurt or doom the contestants: David A., David H., Kristy Lee, Ramiele, Syesha.

Amanda's still my favorite slurry, sloppy girl. She was born to sing the line, "You can't do that." Every week I fear she'll have another "Wayward Son" disaster, but so far she's pulled it off. Syesha's the biggest disappointment. Ramiele seemed enveloped in ennui, missing her gay sister, Danny. And Kristy Lee, dear Kristy Lee. Since Simon kind of went for the country thing, she figured country times ten--complete with shimmering cowgirl outfit--would really wow him! She even made the mistake of pleading for his approval in her interview. Bad, bad idea. She seems to have found her voice in the twang, but creativity paired with a desperate need for approval often ends in train wrecks. I'm still not loving Carly, maybe because she's so damned competent. And still liking sweet Brooke, even though I think I should hate her for her sincerity alone. She and Jason compensate for power limitations with subtleties that Paula gets best, go figure. (I think Simon's milking a Brooke crush.)

As for the boys, David C. continues to be the best David. David H. went into look-at-me-I'm-a-straight-sex-bomb mode with frightening results, forgetting the inner diva that was the one distinguishing thing about him besides his career at Dick's, which, shockingly enough, was left out of his bad-past-jobs interview. (Maybe it was a good job?) David A., what's happening? Out of his element with Lennon-McCartney, but in his element with "Imagine"? He's looking crushed by the pressure to be America's sweetheart. The boy to beat is suddenly the boy who looks beaten, the wunderkind wonderkid transformed back into a typical insecure teenager as if his fairy godmother decided to fly off on a bender, leaving poor David all alone. He'll either blossom next week, or buckle.

Most likely to be sent home: Kristy Lee or David H.

Favorite Idol Performace #8 ~ Brooke White

Up until this week, I wasn't a fan of Brooke Squeaky-Clean-Never-Seen-an-R-Rated-Movie White. I didn't really get the enthusiasm for her smiley "You're so Vain" last week. And when she launched into her sit-down, stripped-down performance of "Love is a Battlefield," I was fully prepared to hate it. It is, after all, probably Pat Benatar's best song, and Brooke is clearly no Pat Benatar. The song rocks, the video rocks, Brooke doesn't rock. But, she pulled it off; I had to agree with Simon. The vulnerable staging and arrangement suited the strengths and limitations of Brooke's voice, and if there's one thing contestants on this show often forget it's understand your limitations and how to use them to your benefit. (On the boy's side, Jason Castro does this well.) So, now I'm interested to see what Brooke will do next.

As for the other girls, the two I thought should be voted off were voted off on Thursday. Amanda was kicking ass again, regaining her confidence and, thank God, losing the skunk do. Amanda always looks ready for rejection, even when she's praised, which makes me like her more. Syesha disappointed. Don't pick Whitney, just don't! Yep, Carly's dependable, and I must say I love Cyndi's version of "I Drove All Night" (and even Céline's-shhhh!) far more than I should, but Carly always manages to be be skilled and dull simultaneously. Kristy Lee was, along with Brooke, the biggest surprise. Adding a country twang to Journey was very clever, even if she didn't quite pull off the vocals. Given Asia'h's paint-by-number Whitney (again, say no no no!), Kristy Lee deserves another chance.

Favorite Idol Performace #7 ~ David Cook

My least favorite David going into last night's show, but he took a flaccid Lionel Richie song and injected some life into it. Seeing this surprisingly riveting performance, I realized I've been biased against David C. because of the distracting pre-combover. Now he's more than a faux-rocker with a bad hairdo. Watch out you other Davids!

So, it's going to be tough to lose 2 of the guys on Thursday. All the boys have something to recommend them. I have new fondness for David H. now that his gay stripper past has been, um, revealed. Stripper with the heart of gold, and he's got some diva in his voice. And dear gay gay gay Danny, though his vocals never quite shine as much as they should, is working his attitude better each week. My favorite part of his "performance" was when Ryan said he hadn't noticed the purple highlights in Danny's hair and Danny did his, Mmmmhmmm, girlfriend response. Perfect. Michael still has the I'm-a-man-not-one-of-you-little-boys sex appeal that even AI karaoke can't entirely ruin. (He'll be better off if he loses towards the end.) Which leaves likable Luke and teddy bear Chikezie. Simon gave Luke the "girly" kiss of death and Chikezie the don't-try-Whitney-even-if-I'm-not-really-sure-if-it-was-Whitney brush-off, so I'm guessing they might get the ax. Chikezie has a damn sweet falsetto, though. Oops, I almost forgot David A. A bit precious last night, but he's still the teen-heartthrob to beat.

Unless the girls are a lot better than they were last week, I'd vote off a couple of extra blonds and give all the boys a pass. Unlikely to happen.

Favorite Idol Performance #6 ~ Jason Castro

After a lackluster performance last week, Jason is back in the saddle, picking a great song for him, "Hallelujah," and giving it Jeff Buckleyesque tenderness. He can get away with flubbed notes (like the squeakers at the end) because he eschews pyrotechnics in favor of delicate phrasing and connection with the lyrics. And he's still goofy-cute as a button. Just don't let those dreads get away from you, Jason.

Favorite Idol Performance #5 ~ None!

Wow, the women were bad last night. More pitch problems than you could shake a stick at and stunningly poor song choices nearly across the board. Carly came closest, singing a Heart song that her voice was actually suited for and singing it well, but it's hard to do Ann Wilson better than Ann Wilson, so it was more competent than inspiring. She's the girl to beat, but David needn't fret yet. 

Biggest letdown: Amanda, who sadly transformed everything that was so great about her into a skunky Elvira nightmare. Some people weren't meant to be thrown into the American Idol machinery, and she may be one of them. Once she's voted off, she should take a long ride on her Harley and shake it all into the wind.